What does psychological counseling look like?
I would describe counseling using these key words:
Encountering each other – Time-consuming – Confidentiality – Challenging yourself – Self-transformation – Self-investment
How counseling can be effective
Physical conditions:
- You have a private space to use for video calls, or the ability to participate in face-to-face counseling.
- You have financial stability.
- You have the ability to commit one to two hours a week on a regular basis.
Mental conditions:
You are determined to seek change, gradually ready to step out of your comfort zone, face your emotions, vulnerabilities and traumas, and have the faith that change will happen over time.
Relationship conditions:
- You are willing to build a trusting, stable relationship with your counselor – this requires effort and patience on both sides.
- You are willing to guide your energy towards the sessions, and disclose the content of therapy only within the sessions . In other words, avoid contacting your counselor to talk about your dreams, thoughts, or feelings, which seem like starting a “texting version of therapy” outside a session. Instead, arrange a formal session to discuss them.
How long will I need counseling?
- Short-term: adjust your mental state and alleviate the burden of problems
- Medium-term: change behavior and cognition, change relationship patterns
- Long-term: explore and develop your personality
As short as eight weeks or as long as years, depending on the depth of the counseling goal – which is often deeper than we realize!
When can counseling end?
There are several ways to end counseling. Ideally, the goals of counseling are accomplished, the visitor’s life changes for the better and counseling is no longer needed; or both parties decide to take a break from counseling and can return to counseling at any time afterward if needed.
Sometimes, due to the match, competences, work saturation, etc., the counselor will provide a referral for the client, and the client can choose whether or not to be helped by another professional.
Sometimes, a visitor will drop out, i.e., stop attending counseling without agreement or even discussion between the two parties. This is unfortunate, because once a difficult point likee this is passed, the relationship often grows and becomes more valuable to the client!
Therefore, I encourage you to express your dissatisfaction, discomfort, concerns, doubts, and anger in words to your counselor (rather than by contacting your counselor outside of counseling or only confiding in someone other than your counselor) during counseling (rather than by actions such as showing up late to counseling, leaving counseling, or physically attacking your counselor). Experience has shown that therapeutic value, personal breakthroughs, and growth often result from successful discussions with counselors when negative feelings or perceptions about the counselor arise. And a counselor is supposed to be able to handle such a discussion, and even welcome it warmly out of concern for your well-being – check out this article: Tell a Horror Story: Counselor Couldn’t Hold My Aggression!
Of course, there’s no need to “forcefully” attack your counselor when you clearly don’t need to, but rest assured that all your emotions are allowed to be expressed in counseling❤!
See Ding, seeding 