Someone once asked: Why do I dissociate when confronted with authority or hostility? Luan Jing discusses the possibility of trauma. A passage is excerpted here:
The “authority” of the past may have played the following game with you: You are bad and must submit to me. I hold the power to judge your worth as a person. You are good only if I like you; if I dislike you, you are bad. If you dare to resist, I will suppress you, castrate you, abandon you, or even kill you.
What does such a message trigger in the person—so strongly that dissociation becomes necessary?
- Intense inferiority;
- Intense fear;
- Intense longing;
- Intense anger—even rage;
- An intense desire to rebel.
On a conscious level, we may only access the first two—inferiority and fear. Sometimes we may recognize our longing for authority. But the latter two—anger and the impulse to “kill the father”—are often far more deeply dissociated. Some theories suggest that the longing and submission to authority actually serve as a defense against the hidden reservoir of extreme anger and hatred.
Why is such a defense necessary? That is a good question, and readers are invited to reflect and discuss. I will only add this: patricide requires sacrifice.
CPTSD | On How to Work Through Trauma in Relationships – Luan Jing
My understanding:
The father must die, but in the right way. Only then can one truly be freed from “the desire of the Other” and claim the legendary “subjectivity.”
Here, “killing” is symbolic. The “father” is not merely one’s biological parent but a symbolic figure, representing authority, rules, limitations, cultural norms, the prohibition of desire.
Why is patricide so fiercely defended against? Because it demands a heavy price:
- Relinquishing the fantasy of the ideal father. He is neither omnipotent, nor eternally loving, nor capable of saving me.
- Taking up the position of the subject. I am no longer driven by the desires and commands of the Other. I must bear the anxiety of Who am I? What do I want? I take responsibility for my desires, as well as the consequences of my actions.
Even beyond the father/authority figure, aggression itself often evokes two layers of fear:
- Fear of external punishment: If I resist or destroy this figure, I risk abandonment, punishment, the loss of love and protection.
- Fear of inner guilt: My aggression feels so destructive it could annihilate the relationship, even the world itself—and I could not survive that.
Thus, to preserve the image of the father as the guarantor of order, the psyche develops defenses such as idealization, submission, and identification to suppress aggression.
See Ding, seeding 